Who Would You Be Without Your Perfectionism?

Written by Michelle Shelton

September 19, 2023

I had the opportunity to be coached by one of the very talented coaches from my coaching school, the Jay Shetting Certification School. He ended the session with a question that I have been reflecting on. At the time I didn’t have a great answer. But as I continue to ponder on it, I realize the great power and impact his question had on me. 

The question he asked was, who would you be without your perfectionism? My answer at the time was, I don’t know. I don’t know who I’d be without the constant urge to get it right. It has been with me for so long, sometimes consciously, but more often more subtly in the background, clouding my perspective with this “one way” I am supposed to be. 

Then this morning I was exercising, listening to the replay of a class I had missed. I listened to my fellow students wrestle with the journey of pushing out of their comfort zones as they took steps to build the business side of their coaching practice. We all want to get it “right”, to be successful. As I listened to my peers, I realized this drive to get it “right” more often leads to us getting stuck, paralyzed from even trying at all. As I reflected on this, a more insightful answer to his question came.

And so I asked myself, who would I be without my perfectionism?

When I work so hard to get it “perfect” now, that implies the journey is over and the work is done. In this sense, perfectionism closes my heart to new discovery and new growth. Instead, I want to see each day as the next draft in my story, open to new insight and opportunity with each step forward. Because, who knows - maybe my version of perfect today is only a small fraction of what I have the potential to become. Letting go of today’s version of perfect keeps me open to discover tomorrow’s version of greatness. And this future self is who I am becoming as I let go of my perfectionism.