Embracing the Vulnerability of Growth

Written by Michelle Shelton

June 6, 2023

It is spring time here. The world is full of new growth. Leaves returning to trees, flowers blossoming, grass coming back to life in the lawns across our neighborhood. It is a beautiful time - my favorite time of year!

We went for a walk yesterday and passed several pine trees. I’m always drawn to the new growth of pines. In general, these are prickly, coarse plants. Most likely part of their defense against being eaten by any and every animal.

But in the spring time they put out new growth at the end of each branch that is soft and supple. I love to pick these ends and brush them against my skin, or tickle my little boys’ arms and faces.  

As we passed these trees yesterday, it made me think about the process of growth in our own lives. Growth inherently is a place of vulnerability. To grow and to learn we have to be open and curious, pliable, able to be shaped and formed. But growth can also be an awkward process riddled with mistakes, uncertainty, and self doubt. We’re stretching beyond our current capacity into unknown territory. It is where we meet our potential and find fulfillment, but also where we wrestle with failure and rejection. 

Knowing this, how do we embrace the tenderness of the growth process? Here are four things you can do:

1. Don’t be your own predator. Sometimes we sabotage our growth by our own limiting beliefs and negative self-talk before any outside influence has the chance to take hold.  Be mindful of your inner dialogue.  Be your own cheerleader. Use encouraging words and affirmations in your self talk.

2. Give yourself a whole lot of grace. See the struggle as a sign of progress, the self doubt as an opportunity for courage, the set-backs as a cue to look for new and creative solutions. See yourself as someone who can do hard things. See the journey as a road to progress, not perfection. 

3. Be aware of the outside predators that hinder your growth. Surround yourself with people who will also be your cheerleaders, who believe in you and in your potential. Minimize the time and energy you give to those who doubt or discourage or even mock your growth and progress. For those inevitable times when you can’t avoid the negative influences, build in time to reground yourself in you and what you believe about your path, your growth, and your potential.

4. Nurture the growth. Just as a tree needs sunlight, water, and nutrients, you also need building blocks for growth. Make a habit of learning in all areas of life. Try new things and go to new places often. The simple practice of exposure to new things keeps your mind open, curious, and learning. Making time for reflection through journaling is another powerful way to nurture curiosity and learning within. 

The most majestic and towering trees only reached their full height through the process of extending beyond their limits, sending out new and tender buds year after year. The same is true for you. Your potential is limitless if you are willing to lean into the vulnerability of growth.