You Are Wonderfully, Amazingly, Good Inside

Written by Michelle Shelton

September 26, 2023

I grew up like many people, believing that, left to ourselves, we are naturally lazy, indulgent, and selfish. Without constant self management, our life would be a waste. It is the natural way, the law of entropy. To push against this you must constantly exert mind over matter, constant vigilance, optimal self control. People who do this are to be admired for their strength and success. People who don’t are to be criticized, maybe even mocked or shamed. 

The most transformative mindset shift I have since acquired is believing the exact opposite. We are actually good inside. Naturally abundant in all the best qualities we wish for and admire in others. The qualities we take courses or read self help books to try to acquire more of, they’re actually already there. Our very natures, at our core, are full of confidence, courage, love, creativity, clarity, & connectedness. Our very natures are good and beautiful, connected to the beauty and goodness of the universe.  

But I don’t feel these qualities, you might think. I don’t feel confident. I don’t feel connected. And I certainly don’t have clarity. It may feel as though the law of entropy is at work inside you. Where is this natural goodness hiding and why am I unable to tap into it?

The answer to this question was discovered by Dr. Richard Swartz. In his work as a therapist, he discovered that, rather than it being our nature to be lazy and indulgent, it is our nature to protect. The things that disconnect us from our inner nature and inner goodness are trying to help, trying to protect, albeit in many cases inadequately. 

So what does this mindset shift mean, and why does it matter? For me, it changes everything. Rather than hating your laziness as a sign of your inherently bad nature, you can get curious. What is it protecting? Or maybe it’s emotional eating you struggle with. Why can’t I just stop eating? There is a huge shift between fighting your gluttonous nature with more self control (often leading to shame, self hate, and loathing) vs. getting curious about how the emotional eating is trying to help (leading to self care, compassion, and inner peace). The first approach sets up a fight against the behavior. The second wraps its arms around the behavior so it can relax and stand down.

The next time you face the things inside of you that you want to push away, the “bad” parts you want to ignore, hide, or control, instead get curious. How is it trying to help? How can I honor and appreciate what it is trying to do? What does it need to feel safe, to relax, and stand down? As these protective parts relax, this inner goodness, your inner light and wisdom, will naturally reemerge.