Returning to Wholeness

There is a famous quote by Leonard Cohen that states, “Everything has a crack; that’s how the light gets in.” When I became a mother, it not only surfaced some cracks. It broke me open, literally and figuratively. The coping mechanisms (achievement, perfectionism, and independence) I had developed as a single woman without children were no longer available to me and I found myself defenseless to the injuries I had sustained and carried unconsciously since childhood. I didn’t understand then what I was experiencing, but I knew something wasn’t right. I knew there was a stronger, more capable woman underneath the floundering, struggling one that was showing up in my daily life. After having my second child, I began searching for a path to healing and I signed up for a meditation course. The author of that course said something in his introduction that pierced my heart and went straight to my core. The words were simple: “return to a state of fundamental wholeness.” I knew in that moment that was the journey I was embarking on. It became my guiding mantra. That is the journey I will share with you here. Being broken open was a horrible, painful experience. But ultimately, it allowed the light to come pouring in.