The Guilt vs. Deprivation Seesaw

Written by Michelle Shelton

December 19, 2022

If you have ever been on a diet, you are probably very familiar with the feelings of deprivation that build over time the longer you follow the diet’s prescribed eating regimen. You are on a low-carb diet and everything goes well at first, but after a week or two, all you can think about is bread and pasta. Deprivation leads to desire. It’s not the food itself that holds some special power over you. And it’s not your lack of self control. It is simply a natural response to deprivation. 

Another normal and natural response to deprivation is guilt. Dieting in its very nature is an act of deprivation. It targets specific foods or groups of foods and labels them as “bad” - the enemy to all of your weight loss goals. Naturally you would feel guilt over eating something that is “bad” or goes against the diet’s food rules. 

This leads to something that Intuitive Eating calls the Guilt vs Deprivation seesaw. It's a description of the inverse relationship between these two experiences. The longer the deprivation, the lower the guilt. You’ve followed the diet rules. You’ve “been good.” 

Eventually, the intense deprivation and the low guilt lead to an openness to eating the forbidden food. But that food is still forbidden and the food rules are still there. And so the guilt begins to rise. The feelings of guilt lead to eating even more of that food (you’ve already blown it, so who cares!). The guilt slowly see-saws up as the deprivation drops. 

With guilt now sky high and deprivation at the opposite low, you are ready to get back on the diet train to escape the intense feelings of guilt and shame you now experience. And so the seesaw continues as the deprivation again begins to rise. 

While you may have happy memories of the seesaw rides from your childhood, this deprivation/guilt ride is not one you want to be on. Neither end feels good and there is no balancing out in the middle. The only way off the seesaw is to ease off the deprivation. Once you do, there will be nothing to propel the guilt up to its heights, just like getting off the playground seesaw leaves your friend stranded on the ground.